So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
