laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
