And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I love you. Go after that dick
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
