you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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