it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Vodka?
Forever.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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