I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
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