420 ftw
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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