I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
