I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
