oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
