nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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