I faked an abortion last night.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
