that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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