Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize