I wanna bring you to show and tell
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
