Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I need water and some morals
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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