I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
