dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
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