did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
