It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
