I think i peed on brittanys purse
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
