Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Boobs speak an international language.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
