You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
