So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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