I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
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