My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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