The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Your dad touched me again.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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