Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize