hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
