her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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