a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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