I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
third nipple confirmed
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Randomize
