There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize