It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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