That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
