Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
People in love make me want to vomit
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Randomize
