take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize