I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
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Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
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Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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