saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
we should paint friendship bongs
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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