I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
