Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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