is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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