My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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