dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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