how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize