sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
