oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize