I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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