On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
