please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
