i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
