if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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