Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize