k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize