Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
farters have to be the big spoon...
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
i've created a new STD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
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