My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
