U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
