im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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