So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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