You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
